Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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h

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops