What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops