If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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