What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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A guy at a baseball game....

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops