Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A dancer walks into a barre

What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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