What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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