im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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