My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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copy me and i will kill you

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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meatspin.fr

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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