Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

american idol

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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