Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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