What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops