a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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why did the chicken cross the road

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Women's rights

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cc

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Turtles

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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