My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Death by kayak

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops