Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops