Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops