Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

thumb_up thumb_down

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops