Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

What's just not right? Left

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

I went to school. Then I came home.

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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