A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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