Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Error 37.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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