A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Ben Corbishley

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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