What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops