good looking women

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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