If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops