What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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My jeans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops