What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops