Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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balls in ya mouf

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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women's rights

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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