What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Julian Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops