What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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