What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

what did the black women name her child jamaal

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

Leave. Now.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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