http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops