a man walked into a bar and said ow

How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

Hi my name is Bob

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

What's in there? Get outta there...

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...