Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops