this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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9/11.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops