Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Neither have I

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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kkkk

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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