Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Tucker Rivera

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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How about that airline food?

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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