What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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The Qur'an

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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