Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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