What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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