What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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