- Anti Joke

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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