What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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