"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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