why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

no.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops