What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops