How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -35

son, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

An Amish walks into Best Buy

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Carlton

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops