Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Let's write an anti-joke. K.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops