What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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