Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

Why couldnt the boy hang out with his friend? because when he called his friend to ask him to hang out he had badd cel phone service. so he went to the other room to call him on his landline but unfortunately his parents have had a rough month at work and therfore could not pay the bill and having there phone lines cut off. this left his only option to mail him a letter asking if he wanted to hang out. he spent about 4 hours writing the 10 page letter asking his friend if he wanted to hang out. when he was finished writing the letter, he went to the drwer to find an envelope and a stamp. unfortunately no envelopes or stamps could be found. so the boy had to walk down town to the post office to pick some up. he had to walk bc since his parents have been having a rough time at work, theyve been working extra hours to help put food on the table and give their son the educaion he needs to become succesful in his life. wen he gets back from the post office with the supplies he needed to mail the letter, he put it in the mail box and put the flag up. but the mail had alreeady come that day so he had to wait tilll monday for the letter to be deliverd since tommorow was sunday and everyone knows that the mail does not come on mondays. when the mail came, the mailman took the letter and eventually deliverd it. he knew it was deliverd bc he traveld online but since there was no internet connection because of his parents failing to pay the bill, he had to go to the library to use the computer. the boy waited a week but his friend never wrote back. so his only other option to find out if his friend wanted to hang out was to simply walk over to his house and ask him in person. since the boy was a little impatient and hess been waiting several day for an answer, he decided to run over instead of walk. as he was approaching his friends house, instead of walking all the way around the road to walk on the cross walk he figured it would take alot less time to just cross the road right then and there. as he stepped onto the road a huge bus sped right by him, almost hitting him. this startled the boy. the boy walked up to his friends door, knocked, and the boy answerd. he asked if he wanted to hang out and his friends said no, pushed him into the street, and the boy was hit by a drunk driver. the boy was rushed to the hospital where they barely just saved his life. although his life was saved he was forced to live on life suppport for the rest of his life. 3 months into being on life support, the same friend came to visit him in the hospital. his friend says, u wanna no why i didnt wanna hang out with you? and the boy said yes. so his friend says "well...." the friend then pull the plug on the boys life support and the boy dies

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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