Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

whats green and lives in the water

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Obama lin Baden.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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