Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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I have an idea! You leave.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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