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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops